Musings.....

I liken my mind to the ocean... constantly shifting... Thoughts, memories, moments, swirling in this bottomless pool... Continuously resurfacing as if searching for an answer... Like a whale's ragged breath...

People around me are leaving.. Treading the path of their destinies. Am I supposed to feel bad? Sad? Sorrow? Guilt? Pain? What if I feel none at all? What if I just feel numb.. Without feeling? What if, in these crucial moments, I feel a semblance of misery, for few who walked their path away from me a long time ago? What does that make of me? In these crucial and valuable moments of parting, shouldn't I be living and feeling for the present? Than be harrowed by the past?

The guilt is unbearable.. To find myself devoid of emotion for those who were part of me, who made me ME, to be plagued by memories gone by.. to live by the past.. When the present is at stake.. And who knows what the future holds? Whether our paths will cross? Would the present document itself? For want of a better word, get imprinted in the recesses and murky depths of my mind, just to resurface and manifest at a later junction of time, reminding me and reacquainting me once again with the guilt I once felt??