All for a pair of boots!

http://www.clipartguide.com/_named_clipart_images/0511-1004-0301-0827_Cartoon_of_a_Girl_Running_with_a_Football_clipart_image.jpg

It's 3 pm. Oh No! It's 3.. Dammit! Run girl, RUN!

Shoot! Forgot the shoes in my office. OK, stop complaining and RUN!

Nice! It's 3:20pm. Breathe, breathe! I made it. On time. Ten minutes to go... 

3:30pm. And here it comes! 

BUS #5.

I fumble. I'm still fumbling. WHERE IS MY ID? Oops! There it is. Sorry! My bad. 

"Here you go. Thanks."

The conductor OKayed (don't flip dictionary pages; I made the word up) my ID and I took my usual seat at the back of the bus by the window. 

OK! 45 min to go!

.

.

.

Where am I? Hmmm... Walmart! I got hummus from here 4 months ago. Hmmmm.

.

.

Hmm.. Walmart. Hmmm... WALMART!? WALMART again? Did I miss the mall? Dang! I knew sleeping in the bus was a bad idea. 

"Excuse me, did we pass the S P mall already? I think I dozed my way through that stop."

"No Ma-a-m. Are you in a hurry?"

Now that's a weird question. 

"Well, yes! I need to return these shoes at the mall and get back by the last bus, which leaves in an hour."

"I'm sorry ma-a-m. There's somethin wrong with d' engine, and it won start up. You probably noticed how the bus was behavin on that bridge. It just wouldn' go very fast, and wouldn' accelerate. Not sure what's happenin here."

I didn't notice you !@#$%^&. Didn't you hear me say I was sleeping?

"I've called the mechanic, and he should be here any second now. I'll try to gettchyu there as soon as I can."

Oh no! That's going to take forever. Jeez! I hope I catch that last bus back. Or maybe, I can shop for awhile, and call Hospi to pick me up in his car. 

No wait! No more shopping for you. You are broke, girl, completely broke. Go home. Go to your office. Whatever. Work on your thesis.

Boring, but sounds right.

"How long do I have to wait? Will the bus be here soon?"

"It should be here in 10 min, ma-a-m."

.

.

NEW BUS #5

WHERE IS MY ID? Phew! "Here you go." 

I'm coming to find you, back seat.

10 min later.

4:40pm.

At a fancy store at the SP mall.

The boots my feet once loved
http://resources.shopstyle.com/sim/40/78/407898b31a1dea4f7983a1d17e8bf322/vince-camuto-dillards-boots-madalissa-boots.jpg

"Can I help you?"

"Ya.. Hi! I need to return these boots."

Oooh! With 172$ I can buy a new pair of chacos. Ooh yay!

"Let me see..ee..They look a little worn out. I'm not sure we can take them."

WHAT?

"Let me call the manager." Dialing...dialing. " Hey, is Gloria there? ... Hi! I have a customer who wants to return a pair of Vince Camuto boots. To me it looks a little worn out. Can you come down here and take a look?"

WHAT? I wore it ONCE! On a carpeted floor! Grrrrr! That sneaky salesman told me I could return the boots in a month if they didn't fit me right. He told me I could wear it on a carpeted floor. Grrrrrr!

“The manager will be down here in a second. "

Yes, thank you. That's what I need right now.

- And here she is. Ladies and Gentlemen! The manager! -

She turns the right boot over.  And the left. 

"We won't be able to take them back. Sorry!"

Are you friggin kidding me? 172$. My chacos!

"That's impossible. I tried them out a couple of times at home. On a carpet. They cannot have worn out because of me. That's definite."

"I understand maam. But we cannot re-sell them. Hence we can't take them in right now. Here, look at the heel. See how it's worn out."

"This cannot be. I tried the boots on here, and they were a tad uncomfortable. I specifically asked the salesman about the return policy, and he said I could return them within 30 days, so long as I practiced with the boots on a carpeted floor. Isn't that the whole point of having a return policy?"

Hysterics about to begin. Eyes are prickling. Panic!

"Calm down maam. You just said you tried them on. You've worn them out. We cannot sell them now. I'm sorry, I cannot take them back in. What's your reason for returning them?"

"It hurts my little toe, but that's not even the point. I need to return the boots. I did not wear them out. Nobody checked the boots when I bought them. They were probably like that already. Maybe someone turned them in before I did, and wore them out. Maybe it was a mistake on your part. That could very well happen." 

IT'S NOT ME WOMAN.

"Everyone here is a professional. We check the shoes before selling them to customers. You have somehow worn off the heel a little bit. And we won't be able to sell them again. I'm sorry we cannot take them in. We could stretch them out for you so it's more comfortable. But that's all we can do. I'm sorry."

AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!

Pleading mode!

"You have to take them in. I don't want the boots. After they didn't fit me right, I changed my mind about them. I don't want to spend 172$ on a pair of boots I don't like all that much anymore. Isn't there anything you can do? There must be something. You have to help me out here. I was extra careful with them. Please help me out here."

"Maam, I understand. But we cannot take them in....." Blah Blah blah ! Back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth. For 10 min more.

"Please. You have to do something. Please." 

Breathe breathe breathe. Do not cry! 

172$. breathe breathe breathe. Why did you buy the boots in the first place you idiot! You make me sick!

"Ben! What do you think?" The left boot in hand, the manager turns to the salesman. 

And then, a sliver of hope.

"It's not THAT bad! I'm sure we'll be able to sell 'em." I love you Ben!

The manager - "Let's see. Get the polish." Takes the polish and wipes the heel and it shines. "Use the wire-brush. Maybe that will make it alright." I can't believe my ears!

"Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Thank you." 

Ok! Stop gushing. God! You embarrass me.

"So what do you want to look at?" 

Erm.. what? I'm confused.

"I just want to return these. I need to catch a bus in...10 min. I can't buy anything now."

“We’re going through all this trouble just for you. She (-the salesgirl) needs to make a sale. You have to buy something. We cannot return the money."

Hey! No fair.

"Can't you give me a gift card instead? That's almost like making a sale. I don't have the time to buy anything right now. Like I told you, I need to catch the bus now."

She’s considering the option. And relents.

"In future when you buy shoes, you try them out HERE. You make your decision HERE. We’re going through a lot of trouble for you."

"Yes, I will. Thank you very much. I really appreciate your help."

And she walks away. Phew!                     

The 'problem' wasn't even the problem. That !@#$%^&(- fancy store people) just wanted to make me the buy the boots (which I would have if they were cheaper). The 'wearing out' of the heel was taken care of in less than 10 sec, but she made me grovel for 25 long minutes. If I had given up, I would have lost 172$ on a pair of boots I wasn't even going to wear all that much anyway.

See! Knee-high boots! 
http://pirategirlcostume.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/High-Seas-Pirate-Adult-Plus-Costume-2.jpg

Now you're wondering, WHY DID I BUY THE BOOTS?

HALLOWEEN my dear friends! I was a pirate, in search of pirate-y looking knee-high boots. However, a gorgeous pair of ankle-boots wouldn't let me consider the others, and I ended up spending an air-ticket's worth, with the halo of the '30 day return-policy' shining behind my head. I wore them once. To the Halloween party. On a CARPETED FLOOR. I was escorted to and from the party in a car. The boots were gorgeous. They had all these buttons and studs on them. They were beautiful.

Now chacos! They don't have studs, but I would use them worth an air-ticket's price, as opposed to pretty boots I'd rather leave in a show-case. So I needed by 172$ back. NOW!

"Swipe your debit card maam.' 

The salesgirl! 

Sheesh! I forgot I needed to swipe.

Forgetful. Absent-minded. No wonder everyone thinks of you as a lost cause. 

Swipe! -*Beep* - Oopsie! Swipe again. - *Beep* - Sorry! Wrong again. Swipe! -*bip-bip-bip*- Phewww!

Receipt's printing.... Sounds good!

"Oh! Was I supposed to give you a gift card?" Say that again?

"I'm not sure. I don't know. She (-the manager) advised me to be careful while buying shoes the next time." 

That's me playing the dumb blonde (with the black hair) part. Wicked me! Buhahhaha! - That’s my devil-laugh. Don't freak out. I'm a really nice girl.

"Well, then. Here you go! It's on your card."

Yeehaaaaa! The money's on my card. 172$!

"Thanks. I really appreciate it." 

Sheesh! I must stop saying that. I hope nobody's keeping count.

I have 10 min. I'm walking as fast as I can to Auntie-Annie's to buy a cinnamon pretzel. 

Yum! Now run to the bus stop. Run!

Damn! 

NEWER BUS #5

It's here already! RUN RUN RUN! 

WHERE IS THE ID? O-Oh! Did I drop it? Nope, here it is. OK. Back seat. I'm coming for you.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

Hmmmm.. the library. LIBRARY? Yikes We're here.

"Thank you very much."

And I'm out.

Moral of the story: Do not buy EXPENSIVE shoes, and hope to return them in 30 days. Things can go awfully wrong.

Cheers!